‘Even Half of the Kingdom…’

I learnt quite an interesting lesson from Esther’s story. Let me give you the context before we go any farther;

Three days later Esther dressed in her royal robes and took up a position in the inner court of the palace in front of the king’s throne room. The king was on his throne facing the entrance. When he noticed Queen Esther standing in the court, he was pleased to see her; the king extended the gold scepter in his hand. Esther approached and touched the tip of the scepter. The king asked, “And what’s your desire, Queen Esther? What do you want? Ask and it’s yours—even if it’s half my kingdom!” (Esther‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭MSG‬‬)
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Queen Esther had come to see the King for one reason: to try and undo the evil plot Haman was cooking to finish off the Jews. But in the process, we see the King offering fortunes in his attempt to guess what the queen wanted.

This is where the Holy Spirit began His teaching! If we were in Esther’s position, most of us would have forgotten what brought us to the court. The King’s mere offer would have thrown us off-course; and basing on our humble backgrounds, if not tamed, our greed could have blinded us — to grab what we could have and run.

Today, we suffer the same predicament: distractions. The Holy Spirit can guide us to pray for something specific. When the prayer time arrives, we are immediately battered by thoughts of unpaid tuition or rent! The distraction then throws us off God’s will.

We must have the grit to focus through prayer times. If you recall, this is the same card Satan pulled on Jesus;

If you bow down and worship me, all these kingdoms of the world shall be yours.

Jesus was in a consecration atmosphere, and not necessarily a glorification process. He was in a season of having the outpouring of the Holy Spirit, in preparation for His ministry — and not a petition phase! We must as well recognize the times we come to simply be broken before God and not necessarily for needs to be met.

We must be able to fix our gaze on Jesus while walking on water like gods, lest we are forced to behold the boisterous waves which might cause us to start sinking, switching our positions & prayers from reigners to victims!

I have seen God Himself test us in this manner. You could have gone to pray, for fellowship somewhere; then suddenly, your crush shows up and sits two rows ahead of you. All of a sudden, your imagination is stained as you pray; your lips could be extolling God, but deep down, your heart’s actual prayer is ‘if only you’d give me her…’ ‘If only he could notice you…’

It might not even be about romance, but encountering socialites or celebrities, or idols or your dream-employer!

Recently, in such a scenario, I approached the person after church. I heard God say I had failed the test.

“Just because I offered even half the kingdom, didn’t mean you had to turn it and take it. Just because I brought him in-front you, didn’t mean you approach him. All things are permissible (allowed for you), but not all are helpful at this point in your life.”

In other words, sometimes we think, because what we want is in our proximity and can be accessed, that surely, it is God’s doing or intention that we get it there and then. We end up leaning on our own understanding, forcing relationships whose time isn’t ripe yet; introducing ourselves, and yet God is meant to introduce us Himself in other ways.

I repented. And I know God will test me again in this regard … because He is preparing all of us to be able to make the right choice when conflicting loyalty, better deals, and the devil come dressed as angels of light.

This is likened to David’s desire to build God a temple to dwell in. ‘Even half the kingdom’ represents some sort of freedom, or permissiveness, for all of us. But just because it was in David’s power to do, and prophet Nathan had told him to do whatever his heart willed, didn’t mean God had willed for it to happen by David. He had shed too much blood.

Thus, this takes a whole deeper consecration, for us to discern the double-edgedness of both the liberty and the boundaries we have in God. We must inquire of the Lord again and again! Unless we hear His voice on a matter, we must not move. Just because they are in your vicinity and can be easily accessed doesn’t mean God has approved them to be your friend.

Just because you are the wisest man, doesn’t mean you should not surround yourself with other men of wise counsel. You must bear humility Solomon, lest the many wives you marry will lead to your downfall. Just because He is a gracious and forgiving God doesn’t mean you should be unjust with your finances and break the vows you had made before Him Ananias and Sapphira. Do not test the Lord your God!

Just because he is showing up in church occasionally doesn’t mean he’s the one God picked out specially for you! God still reserves the right to speak, and not your drawn conclusions, or the conditions of the circumstance. I have been a victim of my thoughts: approaching people who I judged to be okay, because they were in churchy spaces.

Should I say my self-control failed?

Perhaps…

But it is being reinforced with such teachings, and learnings from the past. Sometimes we think we need these people or things … only for them to come in, making us realize they add nothing to us, or even worse — add a degree of sorrow with their package.

Mordecai told Esther shortly before she came in, that even if she changed this petition, she too would have succumbed in a matter of time. I also remember Judas finally receiving the reward for having betrayed Jesus. But shortly after, he still felt empty. He returned the silver, and even hanged himself. It hadn’t been as fulfilling as he thought it would…

Like Naomi thought for Ruth, and instructed on every step necessary, that’s how much we must rely on God’s voice and directives for all our desires in life.

And speaking of liberties … just because we are under grace, doesn’t mean we should dress inappropriately or decently indecent! It might be permissible for others, but not beneficial to you — and your sole role as part of the body of Christ!

Just because you are muscular, doesn’t mean you have to be provoked into a fight to prove yourself! Just because you are a boxing champion, doesn’t mean you should let your anger take advantage of your punch-skills. Not the world isn’t a boxing ring! One wrong punch, can land you life imprisonment if the victim never sees the light of day again!

Just because you are rich enough, doesn’t mean you must bail them out all the time! When will they think? Or … perhaps they no longer look to God for a way out but you always!

Just because you took down a giant doesn’t mean a little bathing woman can’t take you out David! Just because you killed thousands of men, and carried tonnes of gates doesn’t mean only something stronger than you can take you out! The most weakling can end you Samson! And didn’t a little Delilah with a pair of scissors do so?

Just because a half of the kingdom was offered doesn’t mean it is the right thing you need there and then!

May God help us, and continue to prune us for His glory and using. And may He continue polishing our ears, day by day, to hear as the learned, every other time. And be wise enough to escape our downbringings!

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1 Corinthians 6:12 AMP Everything is permissible for me, but not all things are beneficial. Everything is permissible for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything [and brought under its power, allowing it to control me].