El Roi

I was rushing past the church entrance for service, and the choir was singing the last worship song. I nearly face-bashed into a jacked dark and tall guy.  His biceps pressed against his veins causing them to pop — ah, admiration … or, or covetousness? Let’s blame it on my coming-of-an-adult phase, and maybe an increase in testosterone.

The day was 22^nd of October 2023. I sat in the fourth last row, and to my surprise, the guy I had seen a few minutes ago was seated on the row behind, about eight chairs to my extreme right.

I kept glancing his direction as though expecting him to wink back. I hoped he was enjoying the service too. I wished I had sat that close so that I’d interact with him and befriend him during the part when the preacher said ‘turn to your neighbor and give them a high five.’

The preacher was preaching about how generous Solomon was when he sacrificed 1000 cattle in one night and caused God to come down and ask him what he wanted for such an outrageous offering. I quickly thought; perhaps I should give God all the money I have now (an equivalent to the a-thousand cattle) so that peradventure, I cause Him to come down and ask what I want. And I’d reply ‘that the guy sees me.’

Unbelievable right? But wouldn’t you ask for the same, if you wanted your crush to see you or that celebrity or that idol or movie-star … ?

O for our petty desires!

Anyhow, God, answered in my mind; ever so gently, ‘But I see you… I saw you first. That’s why I died for you.’

I was walking back home when I paused in my wake — just to cry at this. He revealed it to me, that most of our journeys off the narrow road of righteousness to the detours of sin — even from joy to sadness — embark with the absence of acknowledgement and the feeling of obscurity . . .

Not being acknowledged for example; no one telling you how good the dress looks on you; which comes from the obscurity: no one having seen that you had a good dress on in the first place! Thus, our attempt is seek acknowledgement, or the noticing of us. Make a friend perhaps, and talk, so that I don’t feel obscure

There is a very thin line between ‘making a friend’ and ‘being seen.’ My situation was an intersection of these. If I hadn’t seen that guy, none of these would have ensued. I befriended the fellow, the first few text backs were promising. He had assumed the position of ‘my fitness idol.’ But later, the friend made, was not seeing me quite as he return texted after days . . .

When anger almost slept with me at sunset, God reminded he hadn’t led me or endorsed the friendship. Unlike my younger days, I find God critical about who I should let in my circle and who I should not. Maybe that is why all adults generically, have fewer friends the older they get. Regardless, it all went back to what God said:

“I see you.”

Hearing Him say this melted me. It is a cure to many tears and hurts. It is a remedy to many tumors and cancers, and the absence of acknowledgement and obscurity sense.

I remember when I was a child on what we used to call ‘Speech Day.’ It was more like a music dance and drama day where parents came and their children performed the arts in-front of them. And parents came up and gave cash to their kids whilst performing, energizing them to do better.

A friend of mine recalls, that none of my parents came. I was about 4 or 5. She said I cried and refused to leave the platform. The headmistress came herself and gave me a coin while smiling. At that moment, I smiled back; siphoned back my mucus and stopped the well of my tears, then walked off the stage. O can you see the power of being acknowledged, or seen!

“I see you!”

It is one thing for you to hear those words; and it is another to comprehend who is saying those words. He is the one who made that crush you want to see you so desperately. He is the one who made that boss that you hope to receive a promotion from. The crush or boss may not see you, but it is written, maker of eyes, won’t He see? I believe the giver of eyes, still has some control over all retinas, and sclerae, and pupils, and irises, and optic nerves.

He can make any see, and He can make any unsee. There are multiple accounts of Him blinding host soldiers and foe in the Bible; He made Artaxerxes see and choose Esther. There are other accounts of Him making blind eyes see.

Well He can make any see; but He won’t make who He considers irrelevant to your life and destiny see you. When we force the irrelevants to see us, after His warning, I have seen, that He lets you get hurt, to fully understand, that that was what He was trying to avoid you from getting. And you’ll turn to Him saying, ‘you were right . . .’

And I do hope, we learn from those. So that the next time we try to get out of line, we remember our past mistakes. Thankfully, His Spirit’s fruit of self ontrol can come to play here.

***

In the wilderness, Hagar had fled from Sarai, having been dealt with harshly, over something Sarai had asked her to do. God met her there, and told her to return. Touched by the fact that the angel of the Lord bothered to acknowledge her suffering, she named God ‘El Roi’, which means ‘The God who sees me.’ From then, her revelation has been a redemption route for so many, especially when they seem condemned and forgotten.

I’ve always been attracted by the eye form of God . . . Why those cherubim are made of eyes as mentioned in Ezekiel and Revelation! Why were they not made of ears or teeth? And so, my notice, over the years has graced continuous visions of how significant these eyes were the best fit for God’s presence and creatures that bless Him. It is about getting what an eye does; and multiplying its potential a billion times.

In August, at an event, I had booked seats for my married brother and another close friend. That friend showed up, and said he was going somewhere else but would return. My brother said his wife had arrived and got him a seat. The other guy didn’t return. Their responsiveness almost wore me down with offence. I’d looked forward to catching up with them all.

I wasn’t acknowledged for having gone early and neither was my effort celebrated. I thought they had missed me so much as well; looking forward to see me.

The following day, I was still a bit mad about it; and as I moved out of church, I saw myself surrounded by eyes of all sizes and colors of irises. It was a scary scene . . . both scary and yet satisfying. It was God’s eyes, and immediately, I knew what He was communicating. That name: El Roi was at play.

His eyes were on me. Others turned every way, as if scanning any danger to avert it miles and miles away. There were so many eyes, as countless as the stars, and the sand that is hair to the sea’s shore. If one more eye was added, I would have fainted.

I seemed to have all the attention of the galaxy. I was literally the apple — the pupil — projecting out one of His very vast eyes.

Many went up and down, as others revolved like the planets do around the sun. I had so many eyes on me it was more overwhelming than standing to speak before a crowd of a million people.

And each eye — each eye was watching out for something, critically. One was observing my hair, another my eyes, another my skin (as if seeing a pimple that is either threatening to come to life or one that left a scar). Another eye seemed to be watching how I was aging; another was like a watchman — guarding with zeal and jealousy; another was observing my future, another was observing my today.

Another eye was strictly observing my finances; another was deciding what I was to wear that day! Another eye was watching my spouse, another my children — each child having as many as surrounded me now (each for the different aspects that concerned them — to ensure their perfection). Another eye was watching the path I was to take, as though not to dash my foot against a stone. Another was a means to see designs that no eye had ever seen to be manifested by me…

I could go on and on and on, but I have to mention but a few.

This drowned out the loneliness I had felt from the event of the previous day. The foolish thoughts my heart was devising for my abandonment by the three had vanished as the vision went on.

With all those eyes, how could I still feel unacknowledged? How could I still feel obscure, when in whom all things consist had upon me all His attention! My attention to and for other things passed out of sight immediately.

I had not been seen by my crush or the president of the strongest nation in the world! I had been observed by the One, who has always been, is, and will always be. He can whisper my name to a president in the future, unlike those that we desire to know us and yet can be gone tomorrow.

A pharaoh arose, who did not know Joseph, even if he had saved Egypt once upon a time. The boss present might not see you, but El Roi has perhaps set the next boss to see you. If only the outgoing knew you, we can as well say ‘rest in peace’ to your next promotion within the company. But if He that sees you doesn’t change, and is ever present, to see the injustice you face, or the diligence you exude … promotion comes from neither the east or the west, but from His very hands.

In conclusion, God sees you!

He sees your widowhood, your orphanhood, your unemployment, your most urgent need, what you are afraid of, your vision, your tears, your desires, where you feel delayed . . . and if you’d only fully comprehend that He has seen it . . . that He saw that particular issue even before the foundations of the world were put in place; then the peace that surpasses human and all understanding will engulf your heart and mind, causing you to even fall and cry in repentance of your untrustworthy, ignorance and the questioning of His omniscience.

For He said before you’d call, He would have answered. While you would be speaking, He would have answered. I even fail to belabor this point further.

Just see Him seeing you — mindful of everything; just like He has fed the sparrows and the flies. For if He has, then that means you do not need trying to impress your crush to see you back. If you place yourself in the image I painted, I believe, one of those eyes is just watching your relationship and how it must fare to matrimony. If your crush is meant to indeed be your spouse, He will connect the dots effortlessly. If we do not inquire of His eye (like David oft inquired), we could be in danger of bashing into walls.

If He sees you, then you do not need to strip or sweat much to be liked on social media. Remember the cause to the stray? The need to be seen. God isn’t denying that need. He is however pointing us to where we should cast our pails to fetch it: From Him. For if we live for people’s acceptance, we might die from their rejection. God’s seeing of us is with genuine love and positivity.

No one would like to be seen and then told ‘You are ugly.’ This can drive many to the point of not needing to be seen at all, ever again. This can be plastic surgery, or suicide. And if it is the surgery, the person (as in telenovelas) returns to woo the very person who called her ugly, just to take revenge.

The need to be seen and be acknowledged is there, but not everyone is authorized, or should be given the authorization to see or acknowledge you.

The primal authorized ‘seer’ and acknowledger must be God. For if it is a spouse, or a parent, or a boss . . . we have seen them all flip, after a change in emotion. But God changes not. He loved you at your very worst, and died for you still. Your girlfriend…? Has she seen your worst-worst yet?

Just see God see you. See Him see you; … this El Roi. And all unvoiced prayers and anxieties shall not only be answered, but answer themselves. They will come to terms, that there is an eye assigned to solve them. See Him acknowledge you. And you will stop expecting it from mortals. For if you fish it from them, their mortality will make your river run dry. Draw it from the Immortal One, and even the battles no one else knows about — those within your soul — He’s seen, and will make their storms a-calm.

He has an eye on the sparrow. He has an eye on you. He has an eye on the injustice you faced. He has an eye on your due rent. He has an eye on your big house. He has an eye on your job. He has an eye on your destiny, and it ensures that your future shines brighter and brighter the longer you live.

The same eyes that were on the Israelites, are the same that are on you and everything that concerns you. Right now He is showing you everything else that He’s got His eye on, that I could have missed mentioning — things deeply grieving you, and wetting your eyes. He sees you! He sees you! And He doesn’t slumber nor sleep. He never has!

That is why you can cast your cares on Him, for your two eyes have no capacity in them to oversee beyond a certain range; lest you break! But He — He on the other hand, is dressed in light. Light that enters eyes to make them see for by now you have seen eyes that open, but are yet blind.

God can see even things you haven’t seen! Things you may never know of — dangers He’s kept from you jealously.

“I see you.” He says, offering the ministry of presence, promising not to fail your trust, willing to show you things beyond your tiny small world: concerning worlds past and coming — granting you significance after your small pity party . . . positioning you above the need to be seen and acknowledged, giving you the need to see and acknowledge what will last forever.

How?

Isn’t it written? That you are the apple — the very pupil — of His eye! As He watches the eons and eras and billions of both things unseen and seen, in that very eye, you are ever before Him, like the sun in this solar system; at the center!

What did you ever do to deserve such attention!

And remember that now you are part of His eye! So, you can as well choose to see what He sees. Being part of His eye means being part of Him as well. That means eternal and constant acknowledgement. That means if you ever need it, you can look within and receive it from Him. If you need to be seen, your walls are continually before Him.

The one that matters sees you. And once you understand that, that is when He can make other eyes that matter pivot towards you. But He is jealous of you! He wants you for Him! And He will make them stop, if they make you turn yours from Him.

He, first; and all these others shall follow.

Him . . . first! For He chose you first.

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“Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?””
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭16‬:‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Notice the last phrase. Hagar asked if she truly had seen the One who saw her! For if He sees you, and you don’t see that He saw you — or carry no awareness that He is seeing you, how will you know that He saw you! I saw Him seeing me, and my perspective changed! If you don’t see Him seeing you, you will continue pursuing attention — attention that you don’t know you already have!

Come to the well of the One that sees you.

Come to the well of everlasting eyes! 🤍

Come … and drown in!

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“So that well was named Beer-lahai-roi (which means “well of the Living One who sees me”). It can still be found between Kadesh and Bered.” Genesis‬ ‭16‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬