The Plight of Extremely Joyous People

In the box office hit animation Inside Out, a young girl called Riley portrays the conversations that happen in her head by her emotions, which control or influence her reactions. The emotions are joy, anger, disgust, sadness and fear.

In the first part, we see Joy (that glowy character in picture) as the main emotion, helping to keep Riley happy, as she led all the other emotions well, making many decisions for them. They looked up to her in many tasks — as she always looked out for the good in bad things, keeping Riley optimistic all the time.

In Inside Out 2, which came out last June (garnering over 1.4 billion at box office), new emotions show up in Riley’s brain (referred to as Headquarters). Among others, Anxiety is the new main emotion, overriding all the old emotions and forcing them into exile!

With multiple attempts, the first five failed to make it back to Headquarters, even when Sadness had created a tunnel for them to return. Joy got super depressed; feeling so down, even after all their comebacks. Disgust, Fear, Anger looked at her for plan C, but this time she just cried — broken.

I am Joy. That moment got me crying as well in the cinema.

I am the always happy guy, the good vibes bringer at family gatherings and random functions.

The flaw is many never see you at your lows. Sometimes even in your lows, they come expecting some joy and entertainment; and sometimes they get it, because they have boxed you to be their source of it, and somehow you have to suppress how you really feel just for their happiness.

Even if that is not the case, people sometimes just do not know how to bring you joy, or contribute to it. They have placed themselves on the receiving end; and yet it’d be a dual kind of thing; I make you happy, you make me happy too.

In other circumstances, Joy was always assumed to always have it altogether. Later, Anger was expecting an idea from her, or if I recall, she suggested something but she was referred to as ‘delusional’.

“OF COURSE I’M DELUSIONAL!” She fumed “… DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO STAY POSITIVE ALL THE TIME?”

Of course it’s shaming sometimes to talk about everything one is going through. So, it’d be hard for you to know if the joyful person around you is struggling somewhere else. So you either have to be a good discerner, a listener of hearts, and an unmasker of faces. You have to ask them the uncomfortable questions — too uncomfortable for them not to open up. Even when they seem to hold it altogether, your persistence can crumble their guard.

But on the other hand, I have also matured to no longer seek pity. The School of the Spirit has taught me that one could have reached the zenith of a thing; such that beyond that point there’s no other human that could supply the thing you need.

If you are the most joyful person people know, and you yourself know no other, it is a hard place. A hard place unless you know someone else you’d get joy from if your supply suffers scorch and drought.

Of course I am a christian, and I can’t leave God out of this. The most challenging part is that He is invisible; so if you want a hug, or a kiss — you are left to your imagination. And some words He wrote to you like;

Rejoicing over you with joy, quieting you with His love, rejoicing over you again with songs & singing (Zeph 3:17)

Yes we have seen boyfriends do that. But it hits different when the maker of all universes is the one bawling bridges and chords for you. But Him being invisible doesn’t mean He isn’t present. Him being invisible doesn’t mean you won’t hear Him. Him being invisible doesn’t mean you won’t feel Him. And O! The ‘some words’ He wrote — they are visible! Visible enough to overlook His bodily invisibleness.

Some years, He’d send people to hug me, and make me happy. But as I grew, He had to come Himself. For the others could be far. And some others could be waiting for the joy from me which I wasn’t in the mood to give.

As I am a source of joy, anyone who is so must perhaps understand that they too need another to wash a pail of joy over them when down. But it is dangerous if you do not know a source of this joy! You end up saying ‘if they can’t make me happy, then I can’t waste my time making them happy anymore.’

Your cup overflows! Selfishness is no attitude for rivers!

By the time you overflow, you must have received joy enough for you, such that when it increases, like an eruption, you realize you have no room any longer to consume it only on you. You also realize you were never the joy’s true source but a conduit: like a mountain. You held it in within your vent as magma, and as it grew, you only channeled it from the earth’s core to the earth’s surface as lava.

The magma never reaches the surface without going through the mountain first. So maybe, God is thinking about more people’s joy other than yours only. So don’t cry if they don’t pity you. You have joy (magma) always with you.

So in summary;

1. Joyful people can mean to be serious sometimes — don’t confuse their jest or usual jolly countenance to be a constant throughout. Like you, life happens to them. Be wise and apply empathy when occasion requires. It is also a flaw to think that because someone is rich, their funds are obligated to help you or your cause. It might not be the case. They could have other matters that need their attention. Don’t be so entitled. Don’t demean people to puppets thinking they exist just for your happiness. They have purposes too.

2. If you’re this character, and you are low; find some anchors to confide in. For if many depend on your joy, then your personal state has to be at per. Open up sometimes, the pressure will decline off your chest and throat

3. Just like you are a source of joy for many, and a joy to look at (Isa 60:15 msg), your joy can’t be threatened if its source is sure. If it’s human, it can fail. You’d expect me to show up, but what if I don’t — will you die? If it’s drinking … remember the covid lockdown? Bars were closed! Your source then must be something ever present. Something that can’t be bound. Something sure! If it’s your job or car — what if the contract ends and the car vanishes! Unha?

If it’s your spouse or child; what if they have to work far away, and the child has to study abroad. Will you die?

Of course we have so many sources of joy; but God wants us to make Him the main! Picture yourself as Job in the Bible! You have lost all! Would you spend the rest of your life mourning? What if you are to live 100 more years — what if the period between when Job lost it all and when God restored double was a decade! Are you going to cry all those years?

I think not! You’d have even considered suicide perchance. At least Job’s wife advised!

You must as well know that joy and happiness differ. Joy is rather permanent — despite change in circumstances. Happiness is dependent on circumstances. Joy gives a reason to live in every circumstance. Happiness needs a reason to live. Joy says ‘I may be broke, but I am alive. This is not permanent.’ Happiness says ‘I am broke! I can’t enjoy being alive. What’s the point of being alive even!’

Happiness only thrives in good moments; for how can you praise and sing while in prison like Paul! That was joy behind. How can you delight in being beaten for the gospel! That was joy. Joy gives you eyes to see good in evil or hard times. Happiness only considers positive vibes or get-back-at-you chances. It says ‘Aha, I have a chance to revenge my brothers’ attempted murder on me.’ Joy sees the hindsight, ‘You tried to kill me, but God was sending me ahead to preserve all of you from this famine.’

I can’t belabor the matter of the differences of joy and happiness longer, as I have deeper once upon a blog. But like C.S Lewis said (and I paraphrase), God cannot give us joy apart from Himself. So I wonder what anyone separate from God is enjoying?

— Mere happiness?

That is so temporary and unstable! The toys and sex may not be there. The gym and the netflix subscription are idols blinding you that they can satisfy! Some men get it all and still feel — less joy even.

On the other hand, the first fruit God’s Spirit enables you to bud effortlessly is joy! Isn’t that amazing! Emphasis on ‘effortlessly.’ And I think why God must be our Joy (not just its source) is because once He moves into you, He won’t leave until the end of age — unlike our toys and friends and bodies and other things. The other is, once we die, we live on in another realm. Now if you depended on your Xbox, and playstation, and series and pets and games to make you happy, they won’t exist there.

But God will! And so He is ensuring that the transition does not get interrupted! Remember joy is permanent, and only God will be then! And within joy you can find happiness; but you can’t find joy within happiness since it’s dependent on moods and their swings and the weather and a bunch of other things that are altogether temporal.

So yes, I cry sometimes; but knowing that my source of joy is permanent shoots me to ecstasy. Yes we lose loved ones, and our hearts get broken, just like clouds cover the sky and rain at some point in the day. But guess what! These low moments are temporal as well. For somewhere above the clouds, I know the sun surely came out! The light is evidence.

And the one thing each sad moment has been driving me to is to realize that I can’t or should not expect a human or any thing to be in charge of my joy! I should give it yes, but not expect others to exist just to make me joyful. That’s a cost too high to demand from any human.

Fulfillment is when I point people to the actual reason why I am always joyful; and if I could be taken out of the picture as their source of joy, and they acknowledge to themselves my secret as their source — and allow God to be their joy — I’d say that is why I breathed today!

For like me, they will be carried to the end of the pursuit of joy, to a highest pleasure; To realize they have found it — eureka! And all these other things are inferior and can never, ever, satisfy.

So I, personally, have no plight at all. Thus, I can rejoice always, and again rejoice, as Paul wrote to the Philippians. Because, my joy is coming from a God who can never ever run out of it.

And back to Joy from Inside Out, after crying, having reached to what felt like the lowest moment, wiped her tears, picked herself up and had to figure out the master plan of how to get back to Headquarters; and by an avalanche, she captained the exiled emotions back to office …

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(The addition you’re about to read was added on 7th August)

Psalm 16:11 says in God’s presence is fulness of joy. Now, I understand why I can’t run out. I am in Him, He is in me; even in one low moment, or the lowest moment; even there I carry the FULNESS of joy, and not its halfness or ‘quarterness’ like I blogged one time.

It is like being surrounded by the air you breathe. You might cry, yes, but you’re still breathing. If in Him I live and move and have my being, then joy is no longer an emotion, but my being — my air; and the atmosphere I’m drowned in, like a fish in the sea; whether it cries, all around it is liquid; and so its tears may never been seen! So must I blame people when they don’t recognize me crying! Ahhhh! For if I’m a fish, when I cry won’t differ much from when I’m happy!

But God! . . .