Abba

It was April 4th, 2009, when my dad’s cousin, Uncle Martin Mukasa, came by at my high school in my senior one. He said my dad would like to talk to me. I wondered what the reason for this was! When I got home, they were so many people crying. I was 11, and the subject seemed not to have registered yet.

We passed through the backdoor to the sitting room, only to see a mattress where the center tables of the sitting room ought to be, bearing the dark skinned human who was previously my father bearing cotton stuffed in his nostrils.

Death had visited the Kyamanywa household!

I was confused. I didn’t want the aunties seated along the living room walls to see me cry. I ran to the visitors’ room, cried for like a minute, and started talking with my younger siblings. The twins had just turned 7, the last born 6. I was due 12 towards end of year and that night, around the fire, I pointed to the stars and told them dad was up there, somewhere. The burial was the following day, which was April 4th. It was a Palm Sunday. Mom likes saying that since Jesus was entering Jerusalem, my dad was entering Heaven, and I believed her. We traveled to Kakumiro which was then a town between Kibaale & Mubende.

I was composed until my aunty told me I had to give a speech! I wasn’t even yet a teenager! Argh—the things children hate. It’s like how parents liked impressing their friends by making us their children dance or sing whenever they came around. It was a lot of work! Anyhow, my aunty told me to give a speech because, as I had yet to discover, I was the heir! It was the first time I came across that word. If I had earlier, I was now even more scared. It’s said I resembled, and was agile as Andrew—but why didn’t they make the firstborn heir!

I buried the questions from that day, but as months passed by, they’d return & haunt me!

Recently, as I was reflecting on Fathers’ Day, I asked God how He’d define a father. He said, these three things qualify one to be a GOOD father. One; having child(ren), Two; Responsibility, Three; Inheritance. We can see that God has many many children. He follows through with the responsibilities that come with raising each of these children, finally giving each of them an inheritance, like how He gave the Israelites the land of Canaan as inheritance. Therefore, the complete father isn’t the one who fulfills only one of these qualifications, but ALL! We have seen fathers who go to the heights of baby manufacturing, only to dump those children.

Over the years, I have grown into the responsibilities of a father…though I cringe when some relatives—and now some siblings—call me ‘the father of the house’ due to the element of heirdom. That’s a huge weight!

Out of genuine love, I’ve found myself looking out for the next 3 siblings. Helping out with extra upkeep here and there, and raising them in the way they should go…

Now on 21st June 2022, my sister called me and said “Happy Fathers’ Day.” I didn’t know how to respond. God used that act to school me more. He said, ‘The fulfilling of fatherhood is when a child recognizes his or her father back. It’s not enough for a father to keep boasting about how so and so is their child.’ Thus we have to teach children—No—we have to be there for them and love on them much, such that they grow the consciousness to be able to separate you and define you as a father. They shouldn’t be coerced into it. They have to decipher, that out of the many men out there, or relatives, that you stand out. This goes to cover even those that have adopted children.

When God spoke of the point of responsibility, it’s for those that have received children to understand what comes with child-raising. Yes, there’s diapers, feeding, educating, paying, paying and more paying. Those who have children and yet lack the responsibility can’t then be defined as ‘complete fathers’. They only fulfill a third of the obligations of what the meaning of a father is to God.

I am not saying they have to afford the most expensive services (like education), but a good father shows his children that he is trying his best with the resources he has available to Him despite the economic level or state that he’s living in.

Another responsibility of a father is raising the child in a way that they should go. It is said that children learn by observing what you do, and not what you say. If you advise them to pray but you don’t, then don’t expect them to. If you discourage foul language and yet you use it, don’t expect any better. Children are imitators. Just like the Corinthians imitated Paul as he imitated Christ, they will imitate you as you imitate your Christ or your weed or your insolence. You’re in such a critical position—a raised platform, being viewed by all these upcoming homo sapiens. You’d better had your life straight.

In Exodus 15:2, Moses sang, ‘The LORD is my strength and song, And He has become my salvation; He is my God, and I will praise Him; My father’s God, and I will exalt Him.’ Here we notice a pattern of imitation. He imitated his father’s God. Maybe he met his father after he had returned from Midian. Maybe his brother and sister showed him how they had been raised. Even if those details aren’t mentioned, the fact that Moses ascribed strength and salvation to his father’s God means that his father had a major role to do with Moses getting to know this God somehow.

Same goes for 2 Chronicles 20:33. But the high places [of idolatry] were not taken away, for the people had not yet set their hearts on their fathers’ God. These fathers must have introduced God the Father to the subjects being talked about here earlier—but the subjects’ hearts hadn’t SET (hardened into a solid place) on God. The fathers here played their responsibility very well, so their children’s misconduct was not on their hands but on the children themselves.

Of inheritance, the last qualification of a good father, I’d just literally quote Proverbs 13:22. A good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children. The amplified adds ‘an inheritance of moral stability and goodness’. The Bible using the word ‘man’ counts as well…so that the man who adopted children, or raised foster ones, is included too. The ‘his children’ bit already qualifies him as a father. And this is where God established why he said leaving inheritance is a qualification of a GOOD father (replace ‘man’ in the verse with ‘father’).

Inheritance has even a deeper call. It says ‘for his children’s children…’ This includes a third generation. And we all know that it’s uncommon that grandparents raise grandchildren. But in case they have raised those grandchildren’s parents very well… having left not just wealth but great character to them, you’ll find their grandchildren say things like ‘In our family, we are entrepreneual.’ ‘In our family, we all tithe…’ This is because, the only way the grandchildren learnt, was by their parents telling them what they were taught as children. So you see the grandchildren imitating their parents, as their parents imitated their grandparents. It creates a rich culture, a wealth so diverse and a worthy legacy that could become as old as 100 years.

Basically, a father has to carry the knowledge that he isn’t just living or carrying his children but even the children to come. If he was still alive, even if he couldn’t see it, I would say, Abraham wasn’t just carrying Isaac. From Isaac, came Jacob & Esau, and from Jacob 12 sons, who multiplied unto the hundreds thereon after. Working backwards, all these hundreds of people, came from one seed, which was Abraham. And sequentially, he left wealth enough for Isaac to start from, increase, and leave for the next generation.

Tikwe? (Do you get the point?)

On the other hand, when children find wealth at home, they won’t have to struggle in school with the hope of growing up just to pay bills. These children will be hinged on making discoveries and studying to go to another moon. This is an example my pastor gives for wealth creation…

An inheritance has identity or purpose attached to it as well. If a parent for example never tells a child where they come from traditionally, you’ll find an orphan mentality existing in unorphaned children. This will be because a child could not be able to tell where he or she comes from, and like we’ve seen in the movies, some end up spending the rest of their lives searching for answers to questions like ‘where do I come from?’. It doesn’t only stop on physical identity but spiritual as well, for we are spirits. This is why introducing God to your child is part of this ‘leaving an inheritance.’

In fact, God says these are not only qualifications, they are levels. After having children, there’s a level of responsibility awaiting. The responsibility to father their dreams, discerning them, interpreting them, understanding what they were born for, etc.

Beyond responsibility, the level of providing inheritance awaits. To me, leaving an inheritance is even the greatest responsibility. For it involves the connection of the Father of all spirits, who’s able to give an eternal inheritance beyond plots of land.

Without intentionality, even if you are a minister of God, if a child isn’t taught, there’s no guarantee that they’ll accidentally stumble into God. We’ve seen clergymen’s children turn out the exact opposite of their fathers. The role shouldn’t be delegated. Fathers actively participate in the child-upbringing!

Judges 2:10-12 And also all that generation were gathered to their fathers, and there arose another generation after them who did not know (recognize, understand) the Lord, or even the work which He had done for Israel. And the people of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals. And they forsook the Lord, the God of their fathers, Who brought them out of the land of Egypt. They went after other gods of the peoples round about them and bowed down to them, and provoked the Lord to anger.

To sum it all up, I’d like to re-echo the line that God began with. ‘The fulfilling of fatherhood is when a child recognizes his or her father back.’ This goes for even the Spiritual Father (God).

‘Abba’ is Hebrew and it is accustomed to children who if were speaking other languages would say ‘Pa-pa’ or ‘Da-da’. This is the first time they are learning how to speak! Fathers are glad (even mothers) when children mention those first words. It is because they have RECOGNIZED their father as Pa-pa or mother as Ma-ma. It’d hurt if they called another man ‘papa’ yet that man didn’t do anything to deserve that right.

A man providing ‘seed’ doesn’t guarantee that child recognizing him as ‘father’. Children have been won over by evil men, who can pay their tuition (or bills) in exchange for sex, and yet those daughters’ fathers exist somewhere on this very planet. You find that the root problem to that was the father not being responsible enough to raise the funds, or leave an inheritance for the child. If we say that child’s father is hospitalized for example, and the daughter sells her body, it goes back to the fact that the father didn’t raise her well enough to inform her of her worth that she was much more than gold. If he did, she would not stoop so low to break her virginity for bills or bread. This is exclusive for children who could have lost both parents . . . but I hope the point is being driven home.

God’s urging fathers—both rising & existing— to follow these or even practice these principles more. For they’ll keep children from being stolen by much more able men (or women) who are yet immoral . . . and these qualifications shall turn their children’s hearts (even more) to their fathers, causing the fathers great rejoicing (like how a baby says da-da the very first time); and affirmation, just like I felt when my young sister called me ‘Father’!

These shall as well prevent children from going rogue — growing horns and deciding to leave home because there’s some sort of insufficiency or shortage, even when there isn’t.

•

God thought of you and I so much that He did all He could to ensure we get the best inheritance ever. The sin that couldn’t allow that, He dealt with shortly after the Old Testament had ended, by sending Jesus, that by Him, we’d receive ALL He’d in store for us

(Psalms 47:4 He chose our inheritance for us, the glory and pride of Jacob, whom He loves. Selah)

Today is a good day to think about all these, as they equip you to become a better father if you are already one, or prepare you into a good one if you are on your way there for if we are going to restore the breach and raise foundations of many generations as righteous men, then everyday is going to be fathers’ day for many of us!

•

Malachi 4:6 And he will turn The hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”