Dealing with Change

In primary school, we had been taught that girls have menstruation, and boys wet dreams. The only idea I had of a wet dream’s definition, was a teenage boy cartoon standing up and leaving a white patch on his sheets, in a PIASCY book.

One evening in Lubambula House, at Ndejje Senior Secondary School, the boys were having an explicit conversation. I curiously interrupted them asking, “what’s a wet dream?”

WHAT A JOKE!

Everyone laughed at me so hard—some boys rolled on the floor, but I didn’t find it funny. The eleven year old me ignored all of it, and moved on.

I remember boys experiencing pimples that same year; 2009. I was all good. Two years later, I experienced them. Most of the boys had moved on. ARGH! I had low self esteem. The creature in the scratcher mirror scared the hoots out of me!

At 14, in the earlier part of my senior four, I woke up in a state exactly the same as that cartoon boy I had seen in the PIASCY book. I knew what it was, but the shame of having experienced now, years after other boys had, I had to conceal.

In primary, many boys used to laugh at the fourteen year olds! They were too mature, especially with the sign of ‘the bush’ as we used to call it. These earned them respect and ‘man-hood.’ When that secondary characteristic befell me years later … well, lemme just say I had joined the scoffers!

Change isn’t a funny thing! Once upon a time a random boy just wanted to be themselves, the next minute you know they are doing press ups. Initially most of them thought the others wanted to impress. They then realize, it’s a demand by their very own bodies to just look a certain way and fit a specific shape—

(Sigh)

Beards or boobs, breaks or builds, humans just need something that won’t change. Maybe a little girl was okay until her breasts, she realizes, won’t be or are not as plump and up as sister so and so’s. That alone creates a myriad of possibilities and horrors. Self denial, low esteem, envy, etc.

Notice how all these ‘sins’ spring up from a concept as simple as change. Change in our bodies is just a minute speck. There could be change in the workplace. Previously sitting in a higher office; now in a lower one. Or previously employed and now jobless!

There’s also change in lives. Shifting from district to district. Changing nation bases. Changing relationships. The girl had thought he was the one, but he was far from it. Now a whole shattered heart has to be glued back after the tears… And the thought of trying again—ARGH! Preposterous!

Today all of your friends are single. Soon they are all proposing & getting married. They cease to ‘just hang’ with you. You feel alone and forgotten soon. And instead of being happy for them, self pity invites itself subtly out your mouth; both in their presence and absence!

How about death! Today a close friend was alive and in April he’s gone! Now you’ve to adjust to dealing without him or her. Finding a new person to go to, or a new amigo to confide in are just so hard! Reality somehow changes without those specific people.

Maybe you’ve enjoyed marriage, but the next chapter knocks; your spouse needs a child but you aren’t certain if you’re in position to sacrifice much or if your even ready for it.

Or you’d have done all the family planning, but the child didn’t warn that she or he would come unexpectedly! That’s change. Another life is coming to live in your house—and what if they turn out to be twins! It’s disturbing deep down!

“I am (seriously) not ready for this.” You’d say heartly…

Bottom line is; change can be hard!

Of course some change is good, but this piece is about that change that’s usually discomforting and annoying and yet we have to go through it.

Imagine the sun was yellow all your life,and today you wake up and it’s purple. Imagine the clouds turn from white to dark brown. That would cause anxiety in your heart. You’d know that something is definitely wrong.

Logic states that we need that one thing (or things) that will be constant or won’t change. If we had only two that would stay the way they are from everlasting to everlasting, we’d be fine!

Perhaps we do…

God is here. God is there with you. I discovered the antidote in all this; that if we could only have one person in our entire lives who we could go to, cry to, laugh with, confide in, rest in… the discomfort that comes with change would be overcome.

Only He can stay the same, yesterday today and forever. Your friend that you used to call late in the night could have changed country, or got married (and you can not randomly call a married friend after a specific hour!)

God however has seen a billion lifetimes and He can split Himself a thousand different ways to avail to each one of us at any time at all times. He has dried my tears and helped me cope. He can surely help you cope.

He has seen the beginning of all things, and their end (Rev 22:13). What does He not know!? He knew my little ‘secondary’ situations coming around, and walked with me through it all.

All those moments where I never understood an ounce what I was going through, God stuck by me. The psalmist said ‘you (God) have searched me and known me…you are acquainted with all my ways.’ He understands change more than I do. He dried my tears and helped me deal. He can surely help you deal!

He’ll cheer you on & keep a smile on your face, through this all. He’s fully authorized to help you deal with change!

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Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

Revelation 4:8b Holy, holy, holy, Lord God Almighty, which was, and is, and is to come.