Virgin Biggie

Last week, I took a ride with two other boys. It was a low-key road trip.

While I sat in the back of their car, we slowly overtook a motorcyclist carrying a young lady on the rear seat. Her back was all exposed, only two strings made a knot there—the strings of an upside-down-triangular blouse covering her front. She was beautiful, tattooed and all pinned up.

The boys went nuts as all kinds of thoughts ran through their mind.

“She must be going to be banged.” One boy said.

“No, she must be returning since it’s early morning.” The other differed.

Another motorcyclist passed. Then another, then another. Coincidentally, all the ‘babes’ acting like passengers provoked all kinds of lascivious thoughts in the boys’ minds. I’m grateful we had no accident. In the middle of the conversation, they kept teasing me saying,

‘Pastor (as I’m commonly known as the boy who knows God), how do you like that one…’

‘Yes pastor, tell us your honest opinion.’

‘By the way pastor, pray for me. I am eyeing a girl to ‘bang’. Pray I get her…’

EH…

The zenith was inevitable. One asked the question,

“Pastor…have you ever banged a girl before?”

With my head straight up I said, “I will . . . after marriage!”

Suddenly the one driving hit the brakes, and the boys went on to lecture me as they drove at a slower speed.

“You church boys are there being humble yet the church girls are being ‘eaten’ out there… You keep waiting for your marriage… You’ll find them all gone!”

The other seemed to be still in shock, and so he recoiled, “DO YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU’RE A VIRGIN! I only thought we had Virgin Mary. Virgin Biggie is now on the list too.”

I laughed along with them sarcastically… just longing for the journey to end!

At some point while in that car, I felt out of place being a virgin. It was mocked so much that breaking virginity seemed like the right thing to do—the cool thing. That’s where it all goes south!

I’m a Christian, and so I know the rooms I can never even bother to enter. I’m sure I am not the only virgin out there, facing pressure like this. I imagine someone—even if their friends were joking—seriously goes to have sex just to tick the bucket list, or impress some friends.

Soon she gets pregnant. Soon he hears he is a baby daddy. The victims insist that they had condoms on, but what if each had a very very tiny hole! I wonder what the friends who pushed it would say!

‘Abort the child???’

How about the guilt of murder by the mother! How about our cultured parents who’ve warned us not to bring them bazukuluz (grandkids) before we stabilize! It’s a one way ticket to an alternative reality!

Sharing the story with some other friends, I received some good advice. One friend said,

When people on earth give in to temptation or sin, to overcome condemnation or their incessant conscience, they make the thing they have broken to seem like truth and define a lie by having not broken it. They make the thing to be done (abstaining) not to be done, and the thing not to be (banging) . . . be done.

Somehow, you who’s on track will be guilt tripped for having not done what’s not supposed to be done, and like the serpent asked the woman, you gain doubts & CURIOSITY in your mind, to find out how good the fruit is—the fruit that was not to be eaten.

Another said, you can’t miss what you’ve never eaten! Virginity & purity are still dope, but once you eat the fruit early, you will or might start missing it like that good & favorite meal which always makes you go way out to ensure you have it in case you’re craving it.

The woman in Song of Solomon said,

Oh, let me warn you, sisters in Jerusalem, by the gazelles, yes, by all the wild deer: Don’t excite love, don’t stir it up, until the time is ripe–and you’re ready. (2:7)

The amplified version says,

I charge you, O you daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field [which are free to follow their own instincts] that you not try to stir up or awaken [my] love until it pleases.

Awakening here would be raising a curiosity—to find out what it feels like to have sex.

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Don’t worry about me, I’m just sharing this for you, pure & young adult. Don’t give in. Flee also in case you find yourself being trapped to be experimented on like Joseph by his master’s wife!

The ways of protection may work yes—but why drive too close to the cliff edge just because you think you are a good driver! That’s being careless!

Stay pure. Don’t ignorantly create a soul only to kill it. And if you don’t kill it, don’t create it to just bring it into a world of misery and poverty.

As I conclude, I pray for those who lost their virginity perhaps out of being tricked, or by force or out of curiosity. Comfort to you . . . and may full whole healing and restoration befall you tonight, and great peace for whichever consequences that came thereafter.

(The facial expressions on the boys’ faces on their discovery of my virginity)